Memory Headspace

Whenever I get this high, I begin seeing things as though it were a memory. Every moment that happens in the coming second feels like it was happening once before, and that I'm just replaying it in my head. I wonder if my memories were actually memories, and whether time has just stopped working forever, like a train stilled on tracks, a train with no wheels or engine. Each moment seems to exist by itself. My now is severed from this now. This now is gone, and will arrive again, circular and pure.

Sometimes I imagine whether or not any time has passed ever, at all. I think back to when my drive was wiped of its memory. And how some memories it had held onto for so long would be lost forever. I think to how the data can store more than I ever can. I think of how computers are more knowledgeable than I am. I am still unsure of how time works.

Like a magnifying glass moving over a dial; every second seems to exist by itself without a history behind it. Finally, the present is the only real thing I experience. In this state, there is no past, no future, no movement. Just a single, endless moment. That's perhaps what the world is doing. It isn't going anywhere, or moving in any direction, toward the last stroke of a clock. It is here, as it has always been.